love

Lawyered.

This post is more of an outreach to you readers out there or maybe just a personal narrative to myself. Who knows. Who cares. What threshold does one need to pass before you officially label yourself out of that gray area between monogamy and chastity? What scenario needs to happen before you can actually consider yourself ‘dating’ someone exclusively? Or does such thing even exist? Or am I just talking that crazy talk right now?

Just a little about myself & my ‘love life’: I haven’t exclusively dated anyone in two years. And yes, I didn’t have sex for a long time. How? I don’t even know. You can be damn sure my lady love was unhappy with the situation but I digress. I’m a busy as fuck. I work a lot but not because I’m required to but because I enjoy it. When I’m working, I’m fully concentrated on my task. When I’m not working, I’m mere moments away from taking my phone or laptop out to write an email or note something that I thought about while thinking about work. So, there you have it, I work a lot, I’m glad we’ve established that. I don’t just like my space, I require it. It comes with the package, buddy. If we’re going to survive this son-of-a-bitch whirlwind romance, I.need.my.space.

It wasn’t until recent that I took it upon myself to begin experimenting with more nontraditional dating outlets like eHarmony, Match, and OkCupid. Before I even begin to fathom the experiences I’ve had, let me just say one thing. Bitches be crazy.

Which leads me to this moment. I’ve met someone that is almost a mirror image of myself- a lawyer with a just as busy, if not more, schedule. We’ve established that space is a requirement without having to say a word to each other, it’s a given. We don’t speak during the week, aside from the occasional ‘I hope your week is going well’ or ‘Have a safe flight to…’ and I’m completely and utterly smitten by it all. We’ve been casually dating these past few weeks and they have been the epitome of normal. Dinner. Drinks. Laughing. Conversation. Sex. Morning Coffee. & then we both go our separate ways. 

But now I see myself here, in his room, on his desktop, working, and he’s outside working on his motorcycle. I’m completely torn between what the fuck just happened? and why am I enjoying this? I went over last night. We watched a movie. We talked. We laughed. We went to bed (and if I may add, in normal people pajamas). We cuddled minimally. We woke up. We got coffee. He invited me to stay. I stayed. Now I’m here. Does this constitute as being in a relationship? I work in an industry where I’m constantly analyzing situations which at times makes me over-analytical to the point where I am [almost] at fault. I weigh out my pros and cons and the moment I see more cons than pros, I’m out there before you can even blink twice. But for some crazy, out of this world reason, I see more pros than anything else at this point.

[flash forward 2 hours]

I’m still here and I’ve gone into deep conversation with his sister-in-law. By the way, he lives with his brother and sister-in-law to help them out with expenses because his brother (police officer) underwent brain surgery but has since fully recovered.

We (myself and his sister-in-law) talked linens, house additions, she offered to teach me the art of crocheting, she gave me the 411 on their crazy neighbors. We ate Thai. All the while he is working on his motorcycle and her husband is cleaning the pool outside. WHAT IS GOING ON?!

Maybe I’m just overanalyzing when I should just be taking everything in as it comes. Am I freaking out because I’ve been out of the game for so long? I’m in foreign territory. Maybe I’m feeling this way because he’s 12 years older than me or because when we say our goodbyes, we don’t even kiss or because this is all happening and I’m still extremely happy and enjoying every moment.

Should I run? Should I stay? Should I just stop thinking and let this bitch we call life naturally happen?

Let the comments and messages ensue.
Remember you can always contact me via iamathinking@gmail.com

I welcome all emails and comments. Even if you just feel like bitching about something I said. Bitch on, bitches. 

Blair Bee

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I, Blair Bee, take you, Anonymous,…

… to be my husband but on one condition: Promise To Always Be My Boyfriend.

A lot of people who know me on a more personal level have labeled me as the woman who will always be afraid of marriage. But in all honesty, I’m not afraid to get married. I’m afraid of my marriage turning into a marriage. I’m not sure if that makes much sense but hear me out.

For those of you who are single and utterly afraid of the idea of marriage, I’m sure you somewhat know where I’m coming from. I’m sure everyone reading this (myself included) is all too familiar with what we labeled as ‘The Honeymoon Stage’, but what I don’t understand is why this so-call ‘stage’ is only a phase in the relationship. In the beginning of any relationship, we have those instances where before you know it, you’re spending every waking moment with this person. But I’ve noticed that many (not all) married and soon-to-be married couples are experiencing the complete opposite. After many questions, I’ve learned that most of the married couples I’ve spoken to have most frequently admitted to these following which include my response: 

1. They don’t have time to go out anymore.
I think this is a poor ass excuse for We Should Have Never Gotten Married In The First Place. Make time. You made time in the beginning. What’s stopping you now? Whether it’s a dinner once a week or a dinner once a month. Communication is key. A well-balanced relationship starts with communication and everything else will lead its way. I get it, all of us are busy but if you decided to emotionally invest in this person for the long run, busy just isn’t going to cut it.

2. The kids play a huge factor in their ‘alone’ time.
Some of you may not agree with what I have to say next but tough. I completely, utterly, and without a doubt, support babysitters and daycare options. If you have the finances to hire a babysitter, even once a month, do it. They aren’t going anywhere for 18 years, they will survive one night a month without you or should I say, you’ll survive one night a month without them.

3. We aren’t as emotionally invested anymore because we’re both so stressed out.
Uh, newsflash: That’s why you have each other. For better or for worse. I confided in you in the beginning, why should I stop now? Because our relationship is legal? Because we both signed a marriage license? No. I want my future husband to always be my boyfriend. Be my best friend. Be the man I fell in love with. Our relationship shouldn’t change for the worse because it’s legal. It should change for the better because I vow to always be your girlfriend, wife, best friend, lover. Talk to each other. Again, this is where communication is key comes into play. 

4. Money
Go for a walk. Go to the park. Go get a hotdog. I’m use to starting a relationship with someone with nothing but each other. We walked, we talked, we hung out. You don’t need money to have a healthy relationship. This point can be arguable in the sense that not all of us come from the same background. A few of us are born into a more extravagant lifestyle which is completely understandable. But I feel like if you are emotionally invested in someone, you aren’t with invested in their bank statement, you are with invested in the genuine fact that you enjoy being around them whether $$$ is there or not. 

5. I can’t forget about when he/she did…[insert mundane argument here].
You two need to move on. Never argue historically. Holding a grudge against your spouse for something that happened in the past solves nothing and will only make matters worse. The past is the past. Until death do us part. Does that mean you’re going to hold that ‘one time you blah blah blah’ to your death beds? I didn’t think so. Learn forgiveness. It’ll make you a better person in your marriage and in your overall life.

So, I guess the ending to this whole post is…

To My Future Husband,

Promise to always see me as your girlfriend and not just your wife. Promise me our dating life won’t go to shambles because we both said, “I do.” Go have fun with the boys. Drink beer. Make a fool out of yourself but remember to always treat me like you treated me when we first met. Remember to always pursue me like you did since day one. Promise to always have a sense of wonder because I can guarantee you that I will never stop trying to learn about you. I can’t promise you I won’t change but I promise if I do, it’ll be for the better. Keep me in mind and I’ll keep you in mind. Love me whole-heartedly and love me like I’ll be gone tomorrow. I’m not asking you to constantly buy me flowers or text me everyday, I’m asking you to be on the constant pursuit of the key to my heart (even when you know you already have it).

Forever Your Girlfriend,

Blair Bee

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I’m A Cat Lady & I’m Damn Proud.

We all know of that stigma of being labeled as a ‘Cat Lady’ and you know what I have to say about that? I love my pussy and I’m damn proud of it.

Here’s why (aside from being super freaking adorable, quiet, therapeutic, minimal, and just plain awesome):

M.R., this is for you.

1. They leave you alone. As weird as that may sound, I love the fact that my cat gives me space and isn’t always looking for attention. Don’t get me wrong, I love my cat to death but sometimes you need a little space. This is probably going to sound odd but I think it may have to do something with humans having to actually work for a cat to love you. They don’t give in easily and they make you work for their affection. Also, that one moment they decide to cuddle back. Magical. Hey, Human, you want me to love you? Well, you better work for it. Challenge Accepted.

2. Born Potty Trained. Geez, I love this one. We don’t need to buy pee pads or take them to disciplinary school to learn how to not pee everywhere. From day one, we give them a box of sand and somehow, someway, cats are already genetically imprinted with the “Don’t Fucking Pee On Everything” gene. Thank you, Cat God, thank you so much.

3. This next one is in correlation to the previous. Cats are tremendously clean animals, like to their very core. It really is just great. Especially if you happen to be someone who works long hours and don’t always have time to be at their beckon call. As long as you keep the kitty litter box clean, you are pretty much in the clear for any unwelcome surprises laying around the house.

4. They are especially sassy little creatures. I love the randomness and unexpected cuteness of felines. They surprise you in such little ways that honestly have such an impact on you in such a deeper level. It truly is amazing how many times my cat has pleasantly surprised me with a random cuddle or a quirky little fall. They don’t try to be funny, they’re naturally funny. You never know what they’re thinking, which gives it this element of surprise.

5. Cats are basically a living version of Bug-Off. Literally. Cats are born curious, which makes them the best critter killer. They are natural insect repellents and it’s fucking awesome. Especially if you happen to be like me. I hate spiders (UGH). I hate creepy crawlers. I hate bugs. My cat is my knight in shining armor. He is my personal exterminator.

My point is if you start to question whether you fall into the Cat Lady category or not, take that question(s) and shove it up every reason why you think you may fall into that categories asshole. Embrace it. Love your cat because I’m sure they love you back. Unless you’re a hoarder but that’s a whole different category in itself.

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AWWWWWWWWWWWW.