Bye,

…friend that doesn’t matter anymore.

Allow me to let you in on a little secret, choosing friends wisely doesn’t make you bitch, being friends with someone(s) that you can truthfully say you don’t give two shits about is.

Through many years of trial and error, I’ve come to the realization that if you aren’t benefiting me emotionally or physically for that matter, I see no point in continuing a relationship with you. We grow up thinking our once ‘best friend forever’ will always be there for you but in all honestly, that is complete horse shit. Just because you’ve been friends with someone for more than XYZ years, does not mean you need to stay friends with them. I know that may sound somewhat cold-hearted and unforgiving but really, ain’t nobody got time for that. This especially goes for those in their 20’s. I can’t stress this enough. Stop thinking this person(s) is going to benefit you in some way. If they were, you wouldn’t even have to be questioning them at this very moment (I know you are, it’s okay, I am too). Keep those who really matter around and leave those who don’t out of your life. We all have those going out friends, acquaintances, proximity friends, work friends, random ‘hello and how are you’ friends, etc. I’m not telling you to go and delete every single person you haven’t spoken to recently. I’m telling you to choose wisely. You’ll come to realize that those friends that you should have forgot about a long time ago, they tend to not be so great when your in a moment of need or crisis in your life. Here is what I did to weed out the negatives:

Social Media – I asked myself, “Would I mind you knowing/seeing something potentially very private that may just happen to pop-up on my Facebook, Instagram, etc.?” If the answer was yes, DELETE. Obviously, there’s some underlying reason as to why I would mind and I don’t have the time to go further. You’ve been chopped, old friend. If the answer was no, I kept you. Delete every person you had a falling out with. Fuck them. It only makes things even more awkward that you guys never speak but stay friends on social media. Move on.

Phone – Delete your old high school friends that you’ve obviously lost touch with. Delete your old ‘connects’- if you don’t know what I mean by this, move on. Delete everyone you’ve hooked up with and haven’t spoken to since. Delete those crazy friends that have always happened to get you into some type of trouble whenever you hang out with them. Yeah, you had a good time but we’re old now, we can’t afford thousands of dollars in tickets and bail-outs. Concentrate on keeping a good track record.

Work Friends – Stay friends with those who can benefit you. Stay friends with coworkers that have a good head on their shoulders. Stay friends with people who can potentially help you network to get a better job. Don’t stay friends with that loser you know is just stuck in a rut, drowning in vodka every night at happy hour. You know who they are. Choose. Wisely. 

Acquaintances – Yeah, yeah, yeah… this person is friendly, smart, and quite frankly, normal. Stay friends with them. Just don’t rely on them. Ever. Know who you can rely on and who you can’t rely on because when it comes down to it, this acquaintance probably doesn’t give a crap whether or not you’re emotionally stable or ‘okay’.

Now go on with your bad self and delete away. It’s pretty liberating if I do say so myself.